The over-decorated present

There has been a conflict going on in Sudan; the Islamic fundamentalist government has been waging civil wars on the South (the Christians and Animist) from 1953, for 20 years. This has led to deaths of 2 million people, mostly the cattle-herding Dinka tribe. Their houses were burnt down and their millet and sorghum fields were set on fire. Many of their cattle were shot and women and girls were taken captive. But 20,000 young boys managed to escape to Kenya, to the refugee camps in 1992, meeting many obstacles such as hunger, lions, and the heat on their way. They are now known as the "Lost Boys."

Under the US refugee program, some of the Lost Boys have been given the opportunity to go live in America, to re-start their life. They considered living in America as heaven, and believed that the boys who are going to the US as the future of Sudan. They thought America as a little present, with all their hope, their goals nicely put together in a pretty box. But they soon figured out that America is nothing more than an over-decorated present. It just sits there, with nothing much other than difficulties for them in it. As time passes, however, the boys learn to adapt to their new life, making something out of nothing.

This can be seen through a docudrama "The Lost Boys of Sudan" as the two Dinka boys; Peter Nyarol Dut and Santino Majok Chuor faces and overcome difficulties when adjusting their new life in a new place.

The first rush of disappointment they felt as they opened one third of their present was the loneliness they faced. As the people in America is always so busy, and in Sudan they are not, it was hard for them to make friends. "Time is money in America."they say. But it wasn't just because of friends they felt lonely. It was because of the way people looked at them that made them feel small and uncomfortable. "When I come nearby people, people just look at me. I look odd. I feel shame and I don't like that. I'm so black than the black people living here. I'm so...black." Also, Santino felt as if he was somebody among the children of the rich people. He felt poor, a poor person without any parents when he knew he had lack of experience in basketball than others. Other students in Santino's bascketball club already knew all the skills from all the practices they had after school, while Santino didn't get the chance of learning them back in Sudan.

As they tore apart two third of the present, obstacles for work disappointed them. They were paid for a low income- Santino's job only paid $7 an hour, very little for what they had to pay for- food, rent and money they had to send back home, especially when they had to fit school time in their schedule. "I cannot say if America is good or bad. I came here to the United States, I was not coming to have a beautiful car, beautiful house, to get food and good clothes. I thought I was coming here to gain something. So that we go and help my people. But we don't get it. We're just working for nothing." they say, since everyday was a repeat of school, house work, job, and homework. Also, they were biased when doing work. "The boss said since Africa in hot, we Africans can work out in the heat. She thinks we can take the heat. It's not funny. Are we made to work in the sun? She thinks we're already burned because we're black. It doesn't mean if I'm used to the heat, I gotta work in the heat."

Tearing apart the remaining wraps, they felt disappointment for the difficulties they faced because of the cultural differences. Since they were not used to paying rents and receiving receipts back in Sudan, got a boy into trouble with nearly having to pay the rent twice because he was unaware of keeping the receipt after payment. The laws for driving without a license also got Santino into trouble of having to pay all the fines when he was unaware of the laws in America.

But it is then- when figuring out that nothing special for them lies there in that over-decorated box that the boys realized that they should be making something out of nothing- to make the pretty wrappings worthy. They adapted the American culture- they started to use slang such as "~man.", dressed in baggy pants, learned to like cheese burgers, learned to not hold hands in America since it is seen as homosexual while in Sudan it is seen as friendship. Most importantly they slowly learned to help their country starting with small things such as advertisements. "They sent me information as an advertisement in the mailbox. They say you must spend three years working as an apprentice, then you become a journey man. I should serve the leadership this way. Maybe I'll be the one who brings electricity back to our hometown.

Rest in Peace Dear Yellow

I am a killer.
It all started when my brother brought Yellow into the house.

"Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp" The continuous high-pitched chirping sound got louder as I walked up the stairs to my house. When I opened the door, I found my 6 year old brother carefully cupping a small, bright yellow chick in his hands as if it was a fragile glass that would shatter to pieces if dropped.
"Where did you get that?" I asked.
"I got him at the front of my school for 500won on the way home." He said, never taking his eyes off the small creature. He obviously was already in love with him.
"Did you get permission from mommy? Cause if you didn't, you might have to throw him away." I said in a teasing way. The thing is, I like animals, but I am awfully bad at taking care of them. I like to look at them, observing the little things they do, but not touching them, especially small ones.
"Yes, he is going to live with us forever and ever until he becomes a chicken and make more and more chicks! He is part of our family now, so be nice to... to... what should his name be Che Rim?" Oh boy, forever and ever? How am I supposed to live with that thing when its squeaking all the time! Help.
"Oh, I know, he can be...Yellow!"
"Yellow? Why?"
"Yellow from the Power Rangers! Isn't that such a cool name?" Power Rangers is his all time favorite TV program, and Yellow is one of the members. However……
"Yellow is a girl Che Hoon."
"Then she is a girl from now on. It doesn't matter as long as I love her."

We kept Yellow in a little box, at the balcony so that Yellow wouldn't get lost or hurt inside the house. But as the days passed, the chirping got louder and louder disturbing and annoying both me and my parents with its loud noise. I couldn't concentrate on my homework, TV and sleeping. Her body also grew, and she kept on leaping out of the box and would never get back in, where her food was. My brother became very worried, and went out to the balcony to put her inside the box again. But that's when it happened.

My brother had left the door open, only about 10cm, but wide enough for Yellow to come indoors to conquer the house with its deafening loud noise. Believe me, the sound of the chirping was like listening to an awful opera singer singing 'Phantom of the Opera'. It was scary indeed. As Yellow took long olympic-like jumps towards the door, with an evil smile of satisfaction and eyes raging with fire on its face, Beethoven's symphony No.5 started to play in my mind furiously. It seemed as if every jump she took shook the ground like an earthquake. The frustration and irritation that I had for Yellow went through wildly in my mind like a panorama. My heart started to beat stronger and faster like a heavy machine gun. When Yellow was just a few centimeters away from the door, my palms started to sweat, my legs started to wobble, and my eyesight became all blurry except from Yellow. I could see her all too perfectly. I could still see those eyes raging with fire, her beak twisted into a little smirk. I had to close that door before Yellow got in, before Yellow could destroy my lovely home. I jumped from the couch I was sitting on, ran towards the door, hoping that I could slide- close the door before it was too late. With my heart that was about to jump off my chest, I slid the door shut.
But instead of hearing a little 'bang' sound of closing the door, all I could hear was a high-pitched squeak.

I had become a killer at the age of 8.

From Colonization to Exploitation

The Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

There are many other definitions for colonization, but I think 'The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing' best describes what it truly means. Many countries have been colonizing other countries in the past, mainly for their own benefits, such as to spread their own religion, and to enlarge the domains of their country to increase its wealth and power. However they have masked themselves as sheep to say they colonized the country to make it more 'civilized', and 'industrialized', when actually they have lead to exploitation of the country and its people.

In Richard Hakluyt's book, 'Reasons for colonization', written in 1585, he states "The glory of god by planting of religion among those infields" and "The increase of the force of the christians" as one of the reasons for colonization. Religion has played in vital role in colonization. People wanted to spread their religion far and wide, especially the Europeans for they wanted to spread Catholicism in many countries. They include South America and the Philippine. When the early Portuguese colonized Brazil, they brought the Roman Catholicism into the country, forming 75 percent of Catholic of the entire population. Also when the Spanish colonized Mexico, they brought Roman Catholicism to the country as well. Today, 95 percent of the population are baptized Catholics. And as a colony of Spain, Philippine is one of the two predominantly Roman Catholic countries in Asia, forming 90 percent of Christians of the population.

Richard Hakluyt also states "The possibility of enlarging the dominions of the Queen's most excellent majesty, and consequently of her honour, revenues and of her power by this enterprise.", which shows us the other reason for colonization- to enlarge the domains of their own country to increase its wealth and power. In 1860, Leopold II, colonizer of Congo said "I believe that the moment is come for us to extend our territories. I think that we must lose no time, under penalty of seeing the few remaining good positions seized upon by more enterprising nations than our own.” Colonizers wanted to expand their territories, and the best way to do that was to colonize other countries-to gain more land and resources to trade with other regions of the world. They wanted to be honored by other countries for their power and high status.

But if it was just the spread of religion and land the colonizers were looking for, why did many indigenous people get exploited?

In 'The Wolf in Sheep's clothing', over the greedy and evil face of a wolf, there is that innocent mask of a sheep covering up all the bad intentions the wolf is going to make. It is the same with colonization. Although they start out by saying it will help the indigenous people, the greed for more power and land results in an exploitation.

In the famous poem, "White man's burden", written by Rudyard Kipling in 1899, he says "Your new caught, sullen peoples, Half devil and half child", which shows that the Americans thought very lowly of the Philippines-they neglected them as they called them 'sullen peoples' referring them as 'unsociable' and 'uncivilized' people. They also called the Philippines 'half devil and half child' considering them as uneducated people like young children, in desperate need of their help. They believed colonization was a justifiable action since they would make the people and its land more 'industrialized' and 'civilized'. However, the British intention for making the country more 'industrialized' and 'civilized' caused them to forcefully take away the mixed-race Aboriginal children from their mothers, educating them in a church missionary for they thought it was going to provide the Aborigines the chance of bettering themselves. But instead of a better environment, many mixed-race children lost their family and their identity, later on creating the term 'The Stolen Generations'.

He also said, "To veil the threat of terror, And to check the show of pride." which shows us that the Americans threatened the people who had pride in their country- the people who stood up and tried to end the colonization for their country. They were afraid these people would take their country back. They were afraid they'd lose the land. This can be proven through many courageous people in history such as Korea's national liberation movement activist Ahn Jung Geun. Many people were jailed, tortured and killed.

Moreover, he wrote "Take up the White man's burden........ To seek another's profit and work another's gain," which tells us that the Americans colonizing the Philippines considered that they had great burdens on them- burdens that they should watch over Philippine to seek their profits and take them back to America- which is very unfair and greedy. Many colonizers took away the native's land and resources so they could use it for their own benefit. For example, when the British colonized Australia, they took away the Aborigines' land, abandoning them from their hunt-routes, keeping them starved. And if any of the Aborigines crossed the land to get food, they jailed them in a place far out into the sea and were never seen again. Also, King Leopold, colonizer of Congo, took away resources such as ivory and rubber and exploited those who did not bring enough.

'The wolves' have exploited many innocent people and its land, for their own benefit of spreading their religion and gaining more power and wealth. They have worn a mask of a sheep to cover up all the bad actions they have made. But remember, in the end, they are always payed for their actions accordingly.

"We say sorry"

Apologies play a pivotal role in our life. Without apologies, a fog of anger, annoyance and pain will exist in between people, making it harder for both sides to see through the problems and understand each other. It will only deepen the pains, leaving the relationship between them filled with anger and annoyance, later on forcing a new conflict to arise before they even notice. But a short simple word like sorry can easily make the fog go away, or at least make it clearer so that there is some space for sunlight to shine through.

It took quite a time for the stolen generations to get a glimpse of sun light during the decades of their miserable, foggy years. The stolen generations refer to the Aboriginal children with white blood in them forced to be removed from their family and house so that the Australian government could ‘breed out’ the aboriginal culture and population. Although the Australian government said that the Aboriginal protection act (1869) was the best process for everyone, many half- Aboriginal children were physically and sexually abused, which led many of them to alcoholism, violation and early death.

However, seeking for the sunlight was not an easy thing to do for John Howard, a Prime Minister in 1997, when he had refused to make an official apology. He believed that "the current Australians should not be responsible for the mistakes of the past." He was fearful that an official apology would strengthen the case for compensation, and he only issued the statement of regret for the Stolen Generations when most of the members of the Stolen Generations were looking for a simple "sorry".

But on the 13th of February 2008, the new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd made an official apology to the Stolen Generations on behalf of the government. He started off as "Today we honor the Indigenous peoples of this land,", which makes the Aborigines feel respected and accepted, equal to the rest of the Australians, which was not a very common thing in the past as they were treated poorly. "We reflect on their past mistreatment" and "this blemished chapter in our national's history", shows that they are aware of what they did wrong, admitting and being regretful for their mistakes. "The time has now come for the nation to turn a new page." This shows that the mistakes they have made will not be repeated ever again, and the problem will end right now. He also describes the Stolen Generation as "fellow Australians" which makes the Aborigines feel equal to others and accepted for who they are. He also repeats "we apologize" and "we say sorry" continuously to emphasize his apologies. It also shows that his apologies are sincere.

His apology had been supported by a vast majority of the Stolen Generations. The father of reconciliation, Pat Dodson described the apology as a "seminal moment of the nation's history." He said that considering the decade of denial by the government of John Howard, the apology was a courageous statement. The apology made the Aborigines feel accepted and respected for who they were. The apology also gave impact on the Australians. It gave them comfort for they now know that they have been forgiven, washing away the burdens of their sad, ugly past. It also made people aware of what was wrong and how they shouldn't make the same mistakes again.

Although an apology can not clear all the pains made in the past, although an apology can not undo the things that we have done wrong, it can bring a ray of sunlight through the thick layer of fogs, and eventually, when all the anger, annoyance and pain disappears in the sunlight, there you go- a new start full of happiness.

"Quick Decisions are unsafe decisions" - Sophocles

We make decisions every time. Small or great, common or rare, it is the decisions that we make that take us a step closer to a result, a goal. Sometimes the results are straightforward, sometimes they are not. They are twisted and tangled like a maze full of anxiety and fears. But it is then when we need to be patient, and consider things thoroughly, to make the right turns to find our way out of the maze to reach our goal.

This demonstrates my personality really well. I take my time making decisions, even if they are very little things like choosing my lunch menu. I believe that every decision that we make forms a path that leads to our goal. And I definitely don't want to lose track of that path by trying to figure out a shortcut- a shortcut made through quick, unsafe decisions.